.:: The Emancipation of Ezany ::.

Single...what's the big deal?

2012-01-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

Well, let's see. I have been single for almost 7 years now. Totally unattached to anyone. I have never been single so long i have forgotten how is to be with myself after my last broke up. I admit, first few months it get lonely and sometimes i do miss my X. Sometimes i wanted to reply him and tell him i will accept him eventually but i know we will be better separated.

I'm getting used to it now. Well I do admit every now and then i do feel, i want to have someone but then again need and want are not the same things. i may want that things but i dont think i need it now. I may want it cause i saw everyone having their partner. But do i want to live my life as miserable as before?

At this age, as older as I'm getting now (yes, older) I had enough of this headache or heartache. I am happy. I am content. I dont need anyone to tell me what i can or can't do. I hate being control by emotions tho' i know being a pisces. I am emotional. But being with someone the emotional stress is different. I dont like to worried bout things that may or may not happen.

I do have feelings, and yes I have crushes now and then but it's just crush. Temporary infatuation or temporary feeling thatI dont think it will lead to anything or anywhere. I do have guy friends that is close or not so close. Married or not married. I dont know how but we have built beautiful platonic relationship that does not base on feelings. I like guys dont get me wrong but I dont think i am currently looking for one right now.

I do admint, it get lonely sometimes but i'm used to it and now i know how to occupy myself. Well, i believe there is someone for everyone. How soon or how near if it will be it will be but at this point of time in my life I feel bless and I am not currently looking for someone to fill the spot in my heart. It's still vacant but it is filled with love for everyone near and close.

Just one day, maybe one day it will happen but if it won't, what's the freaking big deal?

11 days after

2012-01-11T22:12:00.001+08:00

New Year came. On the dot. Exactly at 12am. The date change, we shouted our Happy New Year wishes, we kissed, we hugged, we drunk, we pray, we cried. That's it. Done.

Instead of having a party, i chose to find peace at the beach. There's no noise everywhere, people are calm. Some of them stays in their own little tent. And me, I lied down on a 'pangkin' in front of the ocean under tree. Most importantly, I celebrate my new year with my best friend, Wawa. Believe me, it's been so many years ago since our last vacation.

I knew this new year, my age will be one year more. Last year have stole a year from me. I hope i becoming wiser. I hope those useless people that come into my life will be gone and never come back. I hope I could make wiser decision and most importantly finish what I have started.

It has been 11 days that I have step into 2012 and from the look of it, everything seems fall to places. Well, not actually everything but I hope it will. I maybe the same me but I would like to change it to be better me.

I may have the same friends and I may have make some new ones. I am blessed. I am truely thankful for all the wonderful people around me. And i hope this would not change even new year come and go.

I foresee the better year ahead... and i hope it will be!

Wan...This is for you

2011-12-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

Today 20th December 2011, it has been 4 months and 10 days since wan a.k.a my grandmother passed away. We did our kenduri for her last Saturday. It still hard to believe she's gone. No more resting, laying down on her bed. We will all gather around her on her bed. Think about it, it is impressive how the bed can stand all our weight (mind you, my family size is not small) No more rhyme or her beautiful voice reciting short doa or qur'an.

God, I missed her.

I hope she still with us. I hope I could listen to all her stories. All her life experience. All the advice or or better yet all her jokes. I dont mind to hear it even for hundred times. How I wish. I will give the world to have her back but it is impossible.

Wan, we missed you so much but we know god loves you more. You will always be here...right here in our heart, prayers and thought.

Ya Allah, tempatkan wan kami di kalangan kekasih-kekasihmu di syurga. Amin.

Love always....

I think I am LONELY

2011-04-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

With all due respect, i am making a confession now... i am freaking lonely. I feel I am and yes, I think I do. This is the time that, most of you will tell me see I told you so...or worst laughing your ass off. Haha! yes, I am lonely...I went to work alone, went to dinner alone even stay at home alone. Have I get tired of being alone? Honestly sometimes, I do but most of the time I don't mind. When I do feel lonely at least I know how to keep myself occupied.

As a result of being alone too much, I sometimes feel suffocated when surrounded by people. I did mentioned 'sometimes'. Don't get me wrong but we do need our own little time sometimes but i think i need it most of the time LOL. And friends, if you do ever ask me out and sometimes I said no...sometimes I really don't have the time but sometimes i really don't feel like it. Do 30 years old people get this feeling? I don't know but lately I have this lazy feeling. Lazy to go out or lazy to socialise but I force myself to do it for the sake of doing it.

When comes to life partner or getting married? I still feel half hearted. Yes, I don't have anyone and yes I am sadly single tho' most of my ex-bfs are happily married with kids. Good for them but no, I don't feel frustrated and i don't feel depressed. I feel happy for them, seriously! I feel half hearted simply because I love my freedom and simply because I have been on my own for many years and i'm used to it. Is there anyone in mind? Yes, I do but I think it is too far to grasp. I better look to the reality not fantasy and deep inside I know it just too impossible to happen.

I have been thinking and hoping far too long and the fact is I am head over heels doesn't make any sense at all. How can I be so vulnerable and I am hating myself for that. I'm trying to walk pass it, thru it, underneath it or over it and i am still trying. The fact that I could not tell the person the truth is hurting but i need to do it. Simply because I don't want to be in this way and I don't want to feel this way. The uncertain feeling. I know i can do it and I know I will have to do it eventually...Like I said I'm loving my freedom and loneliness too much.

If only i have the guts to say it outloud. If only I have the courage to look straight and tell the truth. If only I dare to know the answer. But it won't happen caused i could and never do it. So I will let it slide and try not to regret it...

Guess, I'm gonna stay single and alone, sadly for now hmmm....

Pretty awesome

2011-04-16T18:43:00.001+08:00

Well well well... Let me count. It has been a year and prolly a month I stopped babbling. And believe me a lot have happened since. For instance I'm a year older and I am officially but not so proudly yet 30. Yes, 30!! Even typing the number makes me depressed. (Slap myself to reality now)
My brother have new interest which is rabbit and guess what? My dad interest is buying new rabbit and let me tell you we started with 6 rabbits and now we end up with whole lot more. I will try to post the pictures next time. And now they need to do the thinking 'where the hell they want to accomodate all those rabbit?" Perhaps buys a farm?
Oh well, my sister already have a baby. Our sweetheart and our own tomatoman Mohd. Rayyan Firdaus. Omg! He is adorable and the cutest little thing and today, my sis in law is in the ward and will be in OT tomorrow morning. She will need to do ceasarean. So we will be heading to Malacca tonite. Pity her. First child and my brother weren't there for her. Well this is what happen if you marry a sailorkan... I know she will be strong. She was strong for this 9 month and she could make it for another few days.
I can go on and on and on but typing from phone is not actuaLly easy and it strained my eyes. I know I know I could zoom but well I choose not to haha!
I'll blog somemore next time but now I want to go to the kitchen and see if my rice is ready. I'm having lunch at 6pm today hmmm...

I'm lovin it!

2010-03-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

pic courtesy of http://i832.photobucket.com/albums/zz248/paulomagdangal/mariahneyo.jpg

I know I know...I disappeared but now I'm back!!! Ala all this time takde mood nak tulis and caught up with all the activities....

Well, I am actually love the original version of this song but I when I first listen to this remix I totally loved it!!! Oh, god!! luvin' it to bits... I wanted to share it with everybody so take a peek

huhuhu...

2010-03-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

'PASSING THRU'

Ezad's wedding...

2009-11-28T08:54:00.003+08:00

Ezad is my second brother. All this while, I always regard him as my little brother that still need our attention. Well, I just don't realise he have grown so much that he now is ready to build his own family. I really wish he wolud be happy and she is the right choice for her despite all the thing that happened.

Dear brother, I do sincerely hope she is the right choice and you will be very happy with her. Thank you for everything you done for us all this while and now it's your time to spread your wings and fly...Love...

Is this his destiny?

2009-11-21T01:54:00.002+08:00

I am troubled this couple of weeks. Well not me actually, my mind is. I was brought up not to believe with this black magic or spells things. Well, we know it's there but we don't actually think it will happen to us. We believe in finding our own money, believe in our own destiny. And most importantly, believe in god's fate. Whatever happened it has been written for us.

My brother...is the last person on earth that I could think of to be in this shitty situation. Yes, you heard about people telling others stories of love potion, stories how a man or woman tried some other way to get whoever their desire. And you could have never think that one day it will happen to you or your family.

His bride to be,the chosen one is never the girl that we fond of. As for others, it is not hate but mostly annoyed. What can I say. she still too young to notice the persuasion and obsession is driving others crazy. It is beyond every word can described. We do our very best to accept her...to make her one of the family though it seems difficult. It is just because of my brother.

There is something not quiet right. Something different about her. something a bit off. But we tried to brush it aside. My brother seems to lost his way and more and more not becoming himself. I will not elaborate this issue as I know it's really a sensitive issues for most. I will leave it as it is.

The fear, the chaos and the hope. Fear we will lost him once he step into their world, chaotic situation we have to faced for this past weeks and hoping that whatever we have done is worth it and actually enough to save him.

Whatever the reason maybe we do know one thing money is not everything and could not buy love. I hope one day my brother will come accross this blog and read this. I hope that he knew we have done all that we can and all that we could within our means to save him and to bring him back. We hope and pray it is enough.

Despite everything, I hope god will bless his wedding on this coming Nov 29 and I hope everything will work out as planned.

And now, we just hope, pray and wait...

Nana Simple B'day...

2009-11-08T00:44:00.004+08:00

24.09.2009... It's my lovey dovey sister birdday.

Yes, this is at least one and half month old story. Don't blame me, blame the house area that is so freaking ly new that even telecom have not recognised it yet. I will not bore you with all the details. I'll just post all the picture.

By the way, how lucky you are to have a very sporting and understanding mother in law. This surprise cake cutting was organised by her mother in law.

Too late raya post...

2009-11-08T00:27:00.004+08:00

Since moving to the new house, dah la takde internet so I can only blog through mym ind. I missed blogging a lot. tho' bukannya pandai sangat writing but I do missed this little space I have to be able to type all my thots.

first and foremost, raya this year not as happening as all those raya I had years back. Raya is so so. Except for the fun to see all our aunts including my mom wearing the same baju kurung and watching momok movie at the cinemas with all the cousins anything else was all same same and same.

They are cute aren't they?

Hi all...

2009-08-18T15:55:00.002+08:00

I have not been writing since forever... I have to admit I am actually missing it...damn a lot! Tho' I'm not much of a writer but I think it's ok actually for my own reading and whoever actually nice enough to read it.

A lot has been happening since a month ago. My dad's cat Lilo is finally pregnant and now is waiting to give birth...cepat la lilo..excited ni...well until this blog is written she is still pregnant and still has not officially become mommy yet. Cepat la Lilo...

My sister? She is actually adjusting well with married life. I guess she's born with it. Well, as for me... I am still adjusting life without her...and I think I'm coping well with it. I have been asked about marriage more often now since my sister married and my brother is on the way to be married. My answer is simple...I am not ready just yet and also I don't have anybody...Well, i think even if I have someone it's still the same. I am not ready to take this heavy commitment of sharing my life with someone else. Maybe not just yet.

Well, I know at this age I actually already been married at least 3 years but as people says age is just a number...and if you feel you are not ready you just not ready...so I do hope people stop asking such questions. You know I'm actually ready when you receive my invitation card. Hopefully...

My brother? Well, 70% of his wedding preparations is actually done. His fiancee, I am actually been trying to accept her into our family and cause I know I have to actually give her this chance and being fair to him. Well, I also love my brother so I sacrifice this much for him. He has been helping me a lot all this while. Not only me, actually our family. He been there for so many things until my parents mistaken him as their first child and i'm the second child...see how important he is...

So as his sister and the one he always share stories with since our younger days...I let my guard down and I accept his fiancee to my life and to my family life. I think she is still trying to cope with it. She's 20 and you can expect her to be childish in certain ways.

For this past few weeks I have been having strong feeling to start covering my head/wearing hijab (tudung in malay). I think it might be the time for me to open a new book and start to head for improvement. Major improvement. I need to improvise and i need to start a new. I don't want to be the same ol' me. I want to be the new me. I'm getting older and hopefully i'll be getting wiser. Insyallah. And I do hope,I'll be on the right path.

Since the spread of the deadly virus AH1N1, hope everone will be more cautious, wear mask and take care of your own cleanliness. Let's pray we could prevent this virus from spreading and killing more very soon.

Orange Day...

2009-07-05T01:00:00.005+08:00

I always think orange is colour of energy, vibrant and also it's making people who wear it looks obviously cheerful...LOL! And i believe I'm quite right in that belief I have.

My office have come out with this theme last Friday. Whereby everyone was encourage to wear something orange and someone will be chosen a winner. Someone standout obviously. And guess what,everyone did feel happy and closer that day...Is it because of the colour or because we all goes out for lunch together in one group? Well, I would like to believe it's actually because of the colour and also because our boss, Wing Hun treat us for lunch. Thanks Wing Hun!!!!

Update! Update!!

2009-07-04T02:27:00.009+08:00

Well, it's been 2 months...I have not been able to update this blog. First, it's the wedding...Yes, it's finally ended. The tiredness, the chaosness, the happiness and sadness. Yes, it's finally ended blissfully with full of blessing. Alhamdulillah...

We have moved into our new house in Cheras and loving every bit of it! Well, rumah ni quite big for the two of us but hopefully it will be comfortable for our growing familykan bah? After Nana's wedding there will be one more wedding...Ezad. It will be insyallah on this 29th of Nov.

Well, looking back...I realized my once little brother and sister has grown up to be a man and woman now. They now ave their own responsibility and own family to take care. Hopefully, whoever or whatever they become and how busy they are they always remember their family especially mom & dad. Even how busy they are managing their life...

I wanted to share bits and pieces of the big day with all of you and before that i would like to give credit to Faiq (he force me to) for letting me using his lappy. This house is so new it's not in the Telekom list yet so our internet got to wait!

Here goes...

Indonesia, baby!

2009-05-04T22:01:00.003+08:00

Well. first and foremost...I think this year is the year that my brother and sister race themselves to the altar. Why? Why everyone need to get married in the same year? Penat tau tak?

Tho' i still HATE (yes, HATE) my brother's fiance but I'm helping him because he is my brother. And I love my brother...Afterall, blood is thicker than water.

The initial plan is my sister and I (just the two of us) will be flying to Jakarta this Friday to pick up her wedding souvenirs. But now, it become 5 of us. Yes, five F.I.V.E. Who? My friend, Cipah (yang memang always sebok tu), my mom and my auntie (Mak Intan yang cute mute). My brother is paying for my mom and my auntie as he need them to buy things for his wedding as well.

So, after a lot of negotiation and arguments, I manage to book them a seat on KLM. Well different flight with us. Nak mampos MAS fares already RM900++ per person whilst KLM 370++ per person. Actually RM299 but when I click yes, the fare become higher. (That's why some people say buying flight ticket is like stock market) But still lower than MAS la...

Well, I think if you all want to go to Jakarta the best choice is KLM. It actually cheaper and you don't have to pay to check in your luggage cos they give you allowance up to 20 kilos. And furthermore, it's comfy. (For me la, maybe others have different opinion)

At least my mom will be with my auntie so takde la dia takut sangat. Yes, my mom ni memang penakut... They will arrive and check in first whilst we will be arriving later at night.

So tak sabar nak merayau and have some time off from work...

Jakarta..here I come (macam tak pernah pergi, hehhe!!!)

Those who knows my sister, me or my family...U are invited!

2009-04-28T07:19:00.007+08:00

Well, kad dah siap and I'm responsible to keep my promise to mak itam therefore below sneak preview (chewah!) of the card and picture of the future bride and groom

i'M NOT VERY GOOD AT SCANNING...SORRY LAH ALIGNMENT LARI SIKIT...Hehe!!

Update, Update, Update!

2009-03-25T20:41:00.002+08:00

I think this is the longest I have been abandoning my blog. Well, the longest ever...

No, I don't forget the existence...I still pretty much remember this space. The space I have for myself and space that I am able to share all my thought and life with everyone...If there is anyone

Ngee...ngeee a lot been happening. Alot alot! First things first. My sister wedding plan has changed....did I tell you this? Did I tell you that it will be held in Kampung Pengantin, Setapak? If I did not, yes it will be held on Friday night 5th June 2009. Invitation cards? Well, I know Kampung Pengantin is a known place for anyone who is getting married.

Here in KL not every house have their own courtyard to put up tents. Itu belum lagi nak kena jaga hati jiran. Kang bising sikit gaduh pulak! So, it is actually a very brilliant idea to have such place as Kampung Pengantin. The package is ok. Not VERY expensive and not that cheap but affordable. But, there is one thing that really bothers me...they don't update you anything. They don't chase you to do whatever necessary to do like food tasting, invitation cards and preparations. We are the one have to call them and keep calling asking about anything. Their answer is simple... for example when my sister called asking when can she come to choose the card he will answer sukahatila...bila2 (in the coldest ever reply ok!) The reply so annoying. It is only because we have pay our deposit if not...it is better to change venues.

I don't know...for such a big place don't tell me they do not have enough staff in the office to do admin? And their contact point is only the owner. I wonder....

And for mak andam, my dad bump into his cousin which by surprise his wife actually have a mak andam shop in Bangi. So we decided to go and check it out. What can I say?The outfits are all new and beautiful. And the price is so so so reasonable. (Believe me we went to more than 5 shops, so when I say reasonable it is actually cheap) Therefore without thinking twice, my sister booked and pay the deposit. I forgot, if you guys interested to check it out the shop name is Pesona Asmara in Bandar Baru Bangi.

Well, as far as I can say the preparation is 70% complete for the wedding. So now, left only to send the invites and finally waiting for the BIG day!

As for me, I actually now have a job. Yes, I am employed and loving it! I am now working in shipping department for Paperone. Yes, paperone the paper. I am now no longer a lazy bum wasting time sitting at home do nothing. I am now one of the force that is providing a source of income to the family and also the nation! *wink*

I must say this is the longest abandon blog ever and I think this is the longest post I have ever written. So, I will definitely be back and post something up in the near future. As for now, this is my story so far...

I need a J.O.B

2009-02-19T01:02:00.003+08:00

Well well well it's really been a longest time I haven't update this blog. I know the promise I made but...

I have been sitting, standing and laying around at home for the beautiful peaceful 3 month jobless, unemployed and with nothing to do. I have becoming the laziest person in the whole wide world (i know, there is other but... it seems the same)

So now, today I decided I need to find a job. Maybe a full time 5 days job...oh well maybe part time job or maybe a job from home? See, the lazy gene is still inside me and I need to let it go.

I know I need a job when:

1- I need to settle all the debts I have

2- I cannot depend on my dad. It's time for me to stop...(but I'm not ready yet)

3- I have to control my hobby...which is SHOPPING...(it's been 3 months I have not use my cards, they need me!)

4- I am bored at home and I woke up at 10.30am everyday.

5- I couldn't sleep until 4am.

I made up my mind...I think I want to be a teacher?

I am Free

2009-01-21T18:26:00.002+08:00

I'm all alone here in this office. Not that I'm working but mostly lazying and thinking. I have quit my job of 4 years due to the pressure that I have all this while kept it very very well. Well, I guess there is always limit to the patience in anyone's have.

I know very well that I have a very high patience level. That, I'm very sure. But it had me thinking one thing. This decision that I took have stop my source of income. I have to be very careful with my expenses and sadly I have to stop myself from buying anything that I want even if it is on sale. Duh! Knowing me...a shopaholic (that is what my friends call me) can actually prevent myself from spending is new achievement. Well at least for me, my own life.

I'm not born with gold spoon in my mouth but at I work to have what I want and I'm proud with myself. Yes, sometimes I ask myself...is my decision to leave the company is the right deecision? Well, although the world economy is at the worst time and although I have to limit myself from spending, but until now I still think this is the right choice I'm taking.

I am not running from problem but I am avoiding to have additional problem in my life. Yes, I am thankful for the boss, for the friends I made but I am most thankful now is that I can think and do whatever I love to do without feeling worried or being control.

Guess, I am born to be free....

Wedding Daze III

2009-01-20T13:58:00.002+08:00

Well, merisik dah selamat dah on 17/1/09. Though a lot has not been finalised but at least we have met the family. What more? We have quite a few happy news...

* Solemnisation will be done in Malacca. Yes, who would've thought my mom change her mind. This is all because of nenek. Persuading her non stop. Kudos to nenek. So, yes...solemnisation will be in my mom house on 30th May 09
* Wedding ceremony will be done in Tun Rahah (initial plan) on 5th June 09
* There might be another ceremony in our Negeri Sembilan hometown. (Only a plan, not confirm yet)
* As for groom, ceremony will be done in Anjung Felda one week after our kenduri.

Well, for now I will be busy settling all the bits and pieces that need to be settle. Need to check flight tickets to Jakarta soon...

N.B. Don't worry, Mak Itam we will post the card here. Btw, will you all be attending? Or still there? Kem salam balik kat Pak Itam, k...

Kak Tura...You'll be missed

2009-01-14T14:26:00.002+08:00

Remember I did write about my cousin who suffered cancer stage 4? Well, at 4.15am Sunday Jan 11, 2009 she lost her fight. Kak Tura has met with her creator that day, al fatihah.

She has fight well and our pray is with her all the way.

Kak Tura, you will be missed.

Wedding Daze II

2009-01-08T13:50:00.003+08:00

I have not posted my new year blogs and believe me, I have lot of things to talk about for my new year postings. But my heart been calling me to write about this first. I have been mentioning and publishing about my excitement of my sister wedding to the whole world. Well at least to the messenger, friendster, facebook and blogging community which I think nearly whole world populations. :)

We are indeed very excited. My little sister...my cute small little sister that
I used to pick a fight with, that I can't be near with (well for at least 17 years of my life). Thanks to the grown up brain and the difficult life we had, my sister now is the closest sister, friend and companion I ever had. We shared everything (yes, everything) together. I must admit that sometimes her "blizzard" mood sometimes makes me wanted to kill her...

I'll be lying if I said I was OK with the thought of letting her go to life her own life. I'll be lying if I said I am OK now. I am actually not but I'm trying to accept things the way they suppose to be. I know I'll lost somebody, there will be nobody to accompany me at home, to pick a fight with, to tease with. I know I will somehow miss her voices and shout whenever she is bored or whenever she is trying to make a god damn awful singing voice and most importantly cruising together with her or even spend our holiday together. I will also be lying if I said I did not shed a single tears while I'm writing this.

But, of all the things, of all the pain of letting go... I believe I am letting her go to someone worth, I know he could take care of her the best and I know he is the right one for her. And I believe she find happiness with him but I want her to know that I will always be there. I will always be her wings that will protect her from any harm and I will always be her best sister for now and always will be...

In my previous post, I have mentioned about the hard headed mom we had. Well, as what we have expected after all the persuasion...she still with her decision, she will not give a damn about this wedding. I sometimes wonder, what kind of mom Ihad? I know I'm not suppose to have this thought. I'm soory. Well I actually love my mom even how bad things are but to do this? I know she is after one thing, for sure but I will not reveal what it is.

For god sake, I really hope she change for the best or she could end up being a misery old lady where nobody will appreciate like someone I know. Guess, it runs in her blood. I am so pissed right now, though I know I'm not suppose to. But, I need someone to put some sense in her brain for once!

Oh, god...please forgive me...

Friday is quiet...

2008-12-26T11:20:00.003+08:00

Today is Friday, December 26th 2008. For those celebrated Christmas yesterday, hope you enjoy every moment of this season of giving.

I must say, even though I am not celebrating Christmas, watching the movies during Christmas day I have been influence on the existence of santa. Wonder where I'll be put in this year, naughty or nice list?

Isn't it nice to have a santa that can give you everything you dream of? Be it a barbie or a huuuuuugeee teddy bear that you could not even hug. But of course, there is no santa and there is no man entering your house through the chimney except if you have a chimney that can fit a man you might woke up with a burglar inside your house.

I wish life is as simple as that. I wish life is just beautiful wheneve we wake up in the morning. I wish life is easy peasy. But no, life is not beautiful and we could not expect we woke up every morning with fresh breath, beautiful smile and without hangover from last night drinking.

Life is full of lies, jealousy, manipulation and selfishness. We must admit even the nicest ol' goody two shoes have this bad attitude stashed in their heart. I admit, I do have this and I believe everbody has. It only a matter whether you want to show it or not.

I wanted to leave 2008 by remembering all the sweet little things that happen and I wanted to throw every single bitterness behind. I know, it is impossible to forget but at least I want to store it somewhere and hoping I could forget about it forever.

I will post a blog about new year but not in this blog. This blogs was written out of boredom and sleepless night I have for the past few days. Am I imsomniac?

Wedding Daze...Puzzled?

2008-12-24T15:23:00.003+08:00

I'm so in the mood for wedding. Well, fortunately not for me but for my beloved sister. Yes, it is still a long way to go. It planned to be in June next year but the feeling is already here, NOW!

Wawa and me have taken the responsibility to organise the wedding. Not that we have a lot of experience but we are trying. We want the wedding to be simple but memorable thus the song choice of course also important to make the guest feeling that they also in love.

We were in Dewan Tun Rahah yesterday observing the venue and what I can say, if the ballroom is the chosen one. I have no complaint. It is absolutely stunning and so kena with our theme.

We want the wedding fill with flowers, candles and love...I'm writing like it is my wedding but my sister have given me her whole trust to organise her wedding that she is accepting all of our suggestions. Thank god, I don't have a fussy sister.

Well, this is the first sibling who is getting married hence that's why it is so....happening!!

Well, there's one problem. Only one but a major one! As some of you readers might know, my parent have divorce for the last 10 years. Having a stone headed mom make us really in dilemma. This is the first family members getting married (our family) so it is important that my mom attend that celebration. But as most of the friends, family and also groom family in KL we decided the event to be in KL instead of her hometown.

I think this is fair since the nikah performance will be in Malacca her hometown. But, NO! She could not accept this. She want everything to be in Malacca which is now not fair for the other side of family, my dad! She even saiid that she will not be attending the wedding because of this. Btw, my brother engangement day was held in Malacca which is sadly, my dad has not been informed. Sad, isn't it?

It is so sad and devastated to see my sister have to go through this situation and it is sad that my mom did not put herself in her situation. Financial wise and feeling wise.

For me, you have been divorce, yes! Your heart broken, yes! but it was 10 years ago for god sake. Fine, if you could not forget about it. But is it fair to make your child a victim. I think this is what they say, when parents divorce the children will be the victim.

Compromise is always needed. Yes, we understand her feeling but she too need to understand about my sister feeling. I am sad and devastated. We have tried a lot but we still could not see the way out. I hope somebody or anybody can tell me what to do!!!

My sister need our mom to be there and to open her heart for once...

I'm stuck at the dead end road.

My New old Babies

2008-12-17T17:09:00.005+08:00

I did blog about my new babies but I believe I have not show it to anybody yet. Here the pics that I promise

Dido born 11th October 2008

Fido born 11th October 2008

Their 1st food

With Mommy Lilo

New Year Post Depression Syndrome

2008-12-17T16:47:00.003+08:00

hi there, yes I'm pretty much alive and kicking! But maybe not so alive in this blogging world. Yes, I admit that I am not a blogger material. Let alone to be someone can constantly share their thought. I'm just a pitiful bored loner who is very lazy to type.

I did wrote last month that I have resigned from my long time work. Yes, at one point I did think that I'll be there working forever but... I think the pressure after four years is suddenly become so unbearable. I could not and I would not want to imagine.

This is the proof I am so tense that I made a foooool of myself

So, I decided to get out of that red zone and go back to my sanity. And here I am, after serving my month notice. I woke up late everyday, got nothing to do and make a fool of myself at home. So, what am I complaining? Nothing, I am completely at ease.

Wait, no... I actually complaining. I need something to make me busy. I need something to make me occupied. The old job, yes they call me back and all but for now I need to lay it somewhere behind my mind. I don't think I'm up for the old job that I left.

meantime, I will try to occupy myself with lots lots lots of movies.

Tadaaa

Ziryab Gala Dinner

2008-11-26T17:40:00.002+08:00

Remember last July I did mentioned about this event? Yes, the event is here now.

For those who in love with Arabic music, you must love Nawal and Abdullah Roweished... thus do make yourself free on 13th December 2008 for their first ever appearance in Malaysia.

For any enquiries, please call RPE office at 03-2031 6606/2031 1606.

Adios!

Where Have I been?

2008-11-19T17:10:00.002+08:00

I have been here, there and everywhere. I have been busy, lazy and crazy. I think this have got to do with post resignation syndrome. After you have resign for certain perion of time and you are still not working, you then will develop a handful amount of lazyness bacteria.

And I have been infected. I am lazy. Very lazy. I can doze off while looking at the computer or worst, even when I am actually typing something. I need to pull myself together. I hate myself this way. Even looking at the mirror at my own self makes me disgusted.

Wake me up, please! I need to get out of this lazy state of mind.

BTw, Khadijah Ibrahim concert in Philharmonic was awesome!!!! I love every second of it!

I'm Back!!

2008-11-12T16:35:00.002+08:00

Oh, kill me for abandon this blog of mine.

I admit life been to busy and time is too jealous of me it take away all the freedom I have to be able to write. In a simple understandable word, I'm too busy even to check my mailbox.

There are a lot of things happening, the not so good things, I have resigned from my 4 years job. Why? It's because of me. I feel I'm going nowhere and I cant's stand doing the same thing, looking the same work. I need a breath of fresh air. I need something to get me going. I need some adventure. Not that I have any job now. To tell you the truth, I'm still living the moment. Let me rest for a while. Let me be a lazy bone for a moment. I need that before I start my new fully rested engine. Probably new year is the best time to run full speed huh?

The good news, I have just addopted two little cute kittens. I'm a mommy now!!! Yes, I know but I dont have any husband for me to be able to have my own babies and I don't like to take care other people kids, so I adopt 2 kittens. And, these two are enough to keep me occupied.

Now, before going back to working I must complete my license (Yes, driving license isn't it a pity? I'm 27 and still have not been able to drive) and most importantly I have to register for my 2nd sem that I have missed.

Oh, by the way I have just came back from beautiful Indonesia and having a blast with my fren and my abah. I wanted to post the pics but it's not with me. Cipah, please let me have the pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till then, I need to go and feed my babies!

Raya 2008

2008-10-06T12:02:00.003+08:00

It's been +/- 2 weeks since my last blog. Tho' my last blog is a short one but it is still a blog...:p.

We or muslim celebrated Aidilfitri or Eid on 1st of October this year. Yes, it is still wonderful, the gathering with family and all but it is a bit quite compare to last year or last few years. Is it because of me? I'm getting older and had enough of the eid celebration? I really don't think so. Surprisingly very few nenek or atuk in my kampung still giving me duit raya! hahaha!! My mom said they are all rabun. (Maybe, cos my younger sister tak dapat, hehe!)

I celebrated my first day of raya in Jasin, Malacca. As usual, we have all sort of rendang and ketupat which is different from Negeri Sembilan, they serve lemang and rendang daging. All the relatives, except for Pak Ngah & Family (they are in Putrajaya with their daughter who is in the hospital) and Pak Itam (who is in KSA) were here in Malacca. Unlike in Negeri Sembilan, we woke up at 6.30am (my mom being a mom huh...)

This year, I get a visit from my colleague. Thanks guys! Thanks for taking all the trouble and thanks for coming to my humble house, chewah! Maaf kalau terkurang, terkasar, termasin or termarah, hehhee!! They drove all they way to my hometown from KL. I could not ask for more...I'm deeply touch and appreciate all the sacrifice they make. Thanks a lot! (Btw, Jac there is no rendang udang for raya and I don't think it is ever existed)

I wanted to post the pictures I have (tho' only a few cos my camera rosak tengah jalan, huh! Benci betul!) but I guess it will be delay.

As for second day of raya, we ('we' means me and my sisters) are off to my dad's hometown in Juasseh, Negeri Sembilan. Same ol' same ol', same house, same routine and same biscuit!

To avoid traffic, we drove back to KL on 3rd day of raya. Oh, what a wonderful empty road...

As I said earlier, this raya is a bit quiet. Is it because of the finacial crisis? The political crisis? Or the food crisis? Which I don't think so...hurmmm...why ah? Tell me why?

.:: Selamat Hari Raya ::.

2008-09-26T16:06:00.003+08:00

For all my fellow friends, for whom I forgot and forget, for whom I leave behind, for my new and my future friends...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Maaf Zahir & Batin

May you have a bless Ramadhan and joyful Syawal

Raya Sale! Sale! Sale!

2008-09-17T11:13:00.004+08:00

Well for those who are in LURVE with branded goods especially Asprey, Boss, Bally, Coach, Jimmy Choo, Mont Blanc, Bvlgari, Chloe, Cartier and Shanghai Tang, please run run run to Millenium Hotel this 19th-21st Sept 08.

Valiram Group Malaysia's Luxury Goods Retailer is having SALE!

Malaysian...Are We?

2008-09-15T13:26:00.003+08:00

I have not been updating my blog since forever. I think the idea goes away with the tiredness, moodyness and " i remember the pillow softness" during this ramadhan month.

Well, yes, this holy month should be celebrated and we should be bless during this holy month. And silly me, I am not suppose to complaint. Forgive me, god. I am just a normal human being who like to complaints and never satisfied.

Yes, I did think that. We never satisfied and we like to complaint. Not for certain things but EVERYTHING!. Instead of saying thanks, we complained, complained and complained and we always want a lot more....especially free things. See, I am complaining now about complaining.

Doesn't you think so? I think that is happening to Malaysian nowadays and quite frankly i am sick and tired of this political hu-ha happening now. For god sake people, we are Malaysian and we suppose to be one. Whatever, racist issue they are talking about now, is seriously not good and quite annoying.

For me, living in the country with a lot of different races, we need to accept other belief and flaws. Doesn't matter you are Malay, Chinese, Kadazan, Indian or etc, we are still Malaysian. I believe we have forget and even worst forget our identity. It is sad, sad to see the news and devastated when reading the newspaper...at one point I feel like I want to vaporise myself into the earth and pretend I did not know anything.

I hope we all will be bless in this holy month and I hope we will be Malaysian again. This is me being patriotic. This is me being Malaysian. And this is me being so sick and tired of all the things happening.

I have no idea

2008-09-09T16:18:00.001+08:00

I have no idea. Nil. Nada. I need to lie down and think some thought.

I'll be back.

Shortly...

Dream can come true....

2008-09-06T10:54:00.003+08:00

I'm watching Jimmy Kimmel live last 3 weeks. Guest appearance was Mariah Carey. My old post, I have mentioned that Jacq have give me M for Mariah for my birthday. I guess that was it. But, it was not...

She have new perfume in line. Can you imagine, new perfume? I was like, oh my I need no I must have this but already have a lot of perfume. It will be a waste! But it's Mariah for god sake! The new perfume called Luscious Pink...isn't it sexy?

Last 2 weeks, I went to Sogo with my mum. She needs to buy baju raya for my sis. (What's up with buying baju raya while we not even start fasting yet?) Well, Sogo having sales for Merdeka. And guess what, they are introducing Mariah new perfume too...I guess it's my destiny. I have to buy this perfume. But after torturing and nagging from my mom, duh! I think the destiny just explode and disappear. So it was not meant to be. But I must have it!!

Yesterday, after breakfast at KLCC my sister and me went window shopping. Shop after shop, Parkson after Isetan...and it's happening there. We went to Parkson for of course 'jalan-jalan' then I saw a light, a bright light in one counter. It's like when you saw something you want, everything else went pitch black. This is the same, it's like i saw light at the end of the tunnel. And there it was, there smiling at me, waiting for me to come.

Yes, I am now the proud owner of Mariah's Luscious Pink perfume and loving it!

P/S: Shhh....don't tell my mom...:)

Be strong, Kak Tura...U can Get through This

2008-08-26T14:25:00.001+08:00

Remember I did tell you in my previous post that my cousin been diagnosed with cancer? Well, she suppose to have an operation to remove the cancer today.

Unfortunately, the cancer cell has spread to most of the place in her body and they have to cancel the operation and doctor said, there is nothing they could do but just wait. She is now coma and my mom tell me...her condition getting from bad to worse.

We can only pray and hope.

Dear God,

Help her get through with this pain

Help her to be strong

Help her to make it through

And god, if the pain is too much to bear

And she don't have enough strength to make it through

Please God,

Bless her and love her

Take her away easily with full of love

And if she's gone...

Oh dear god,

Give her family the strength to make it through

Give her family your blessing for the journey they need to go through without her

With that god,

We are bless to know that she will always be with you

Fill with your love

Amin...

It is definitely ON!

2008-08-23T09:22:00.003+08:00

Please excuse my previous blog about Avril's concert as it is definitely confirm that Avril's concert will absolutely gonna be on this 29th.

Can't wait, can't wait....I'm so gonna be there.......*wink*

Fasting month...

2008-08-22T12:26:00.000+08:00

Oh my god...I feel I just celebrate Eid few months back and what do you know? The fasting month come knocking at your door. This year, our fasting month might start on 1st September after National Day celebration. Thank god, at least for us yang dekat KL ni we are able to get 1 day off.

Alhamdulillah...another year of fasting and another year of blessing. Hopefully this Eid will bring more blessing and hopefully will bring more joyous to everybody.

I will be heading to Malacca to celebrate the coming of Ramadhan and at least I can start my fasting month at my mom's place. And where are your destination first of Ramadhan? Back to your hometown or just at home....

* Btw, went to Pulse last Friday with Hajar and guess who with us? Jengjengjeng....Farid Kamil......

Avril Lavigne, what's so SEXY?

2008-08-20T12:29:00.003+08:00

I heard, I know and it's confirm that they are cancelling Avril's concert. Gosh, I'm actually looking forward to go, watch, see and be at the concert. This is the first time she gonna come here, it's like a big deal...for me tho'

I don't understand...S.E.X.Y? What is it so sexy about Avril? The cloth, the hair, the voice, the overline eyeliner or the makeup? I really don't understand...what kind of sexy they are talking about? It is not good for the teenagers? There's a lot of other things in this world can be a bad influence to the youngsters, we have TV, radio and most of all the internet? But this concert? I did not get...Gwen Stefani is far sexier than Avril and she can still perform here. So how they rate sexy actually?

We live in multi racial country. We do not only have Malays, but we also have Chinese, Indian and others. Is this necessary? I don't know...It's all ridiculous

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, forgive me for my ignorance...

2008-08-14T18:49:00.004+08:00

Yes, when you read my subject I guess you figure out what I'm trying to write about. I can say this last 2 weeks when people ask me about the price of goods and income as bla bla bla yada yada yada...I will say, is it? Ye ke? Tak adalah sangat...

But now, whoever it was... I tell you, you are absolutely 100% right. My oh my...it's not even middle of the month and I am officially B.R.O.K.E. How? How? How? Well, this time people who knows me will say...why? because you spend too much, that's y? But seriously, this month I did not spend at all...no, nada... last month? Yes, I do but this month? Nope except for few helai of kain to make baju raya that's it.

Strange, but, no but...it is seriously strange.

Ok, I know you know but I tell you, I don't even know.... Well, leave it at that...Move on

I called my mom last night, we were talking and suddenly she told me my cousin been diagnose with cancer. Oh my god, she is in her early 30's with one little girl. I was like, how come? Apparently, she always have problem with her stomach and one day it became worst and when she went for check up, it has been confirmed.

I pity her. She is a very nice girl. Nice and lovely couz indeed. Although, we do not have a lot memories together as I am closer with her brother but she is still my cousin. My flesh and blood. We have slightly the same blood, ok?

I sympathize her. My pray is with her. I hope all the best for her and trust me, god is always by her side.

Kak Tura, I wish you well. I hope everything will work out great and I hope you will be strong for your self, your family and for everybody. Believe me, we will always pray for your wellbeing and god have plan for everybody including you thus he knows the best. Keep on praying and hoping and never lose one. Amin.

I really do hope everything will work out great...oh god, bless us and bless our prayer...

Sob...Sob...

2008-08-13T14:12:00.002+08:00

Life is boring, I am nearly dead, I am dead bored

Give me some work, give me problem to solve, I need one!

Yesterday, on the radio. I am not a radio fan actually but early in the morning inside the car with your half concious moody sister. (Yes, my sister sometimes do have blizzard in her head? Sometimes? No actually most of the time...:p Sorry Nana) Your best companion is a radio after 10 second acquitances with your newspaper auntie.

My oh my...I really need to stop crapping and get straight to the point.

They are talking bout secret. Biggest secret in your life you have never tell anysoul. One guy called up, if I'm not mistaken the name is Hakim or maybe Hakimi?

OK...He is talking about his secret. He is getting married this weekend and guess what? Not with his girlfriend but other girlfriend. My oh my! There is a lot of opinion and a lot of get over it wishes but for me...

Only one thing, that guy is a total jerk! Seriously, how could he do that to someone who he admit he loved? How dare he do that? Did he think he can get away easily? To that girl, life spins like wheel. One day we will be up and the other day we will be down so, maybe this is his time but you will also have your time. Be a little patience and remember god is fair.

How I am bless without this headache happening in my life. But, hey! Life without problem would be damn bored innit?

Till We Meet Again, Pak Itam...

2008-08-12T23:16:00.004+08:00

I did write in my previous post that my uncle will be going to Jeddah for his new job. Well, he'll be going definitely but not as planned, it is a week earlier...like tomorrow, August 13,2008.

This post is exclusively for him.

Take care my dear uncle, till we meet again someday, insyallah... I will try to be there but if I could not make it all the best and my pray goes to you. Send us update everytime and please please please...keep your blog updated so I have something to tell everybody bout your life there.

I am excited, as excited as him, maybe more. I am happy for him tho' of course a bit sad but hey, it is for the best. We have always find a way to be better and to be better means to leave your family, so be it!

I wish him all the best and hope luck is always on his side....

For Pak Itam....our love will be with you where ever you are. May god bless your journey and most of all your dream.

Pak Itam, You must Love Me! - Nuffnang Gift Ideas

2008-08-09T12:27:00.005+08:00

OK...OK enough talking bout the postpone event. Now one thing, I ought to do after delaying for so long. Nuffnang Gift Ideas contest...I have to do this and hopefully win this so I can give it to the person.

Well, my gift idea will be a Canon Digital Video Camcorder DVD DC220 for my loving, caring and adorable uncle well not that adorable but bolehla...(puji lebih sikitkan, mana tahu...hehehe)

Pak Itam.

Well, I decided to give the cancorder to him not because I don't have anybody elso to choose from but merely because he is flying away to the middle east (again, middle east?What's up with that?) If i'm not mistaken Jeddah...betulkan??? Yes, he is gonna fly this month and yes, obviously I can't get to give to him on time if I win this but...

Yes, but his family will stay here for few months before he settle down so I still have the chance to give the camcorder to him, if...if...if.... I win this (which, I hope hope hope and really hope I will)

I tried to find laptop, so he can always update his blogs but I can't seem to find suitable laptop for him and taken to account not all my auntie or uncle or my atuk and nenek have internet at home or IT literate...so I decided best to give him the camcorder so he can record whatever he is doing and make a short movie blog and post it to us so we can watch together...while missing him of course.

Yes, Pak Itam of course we gonna miss you...us celebrating hari raya without one of our uncle means short of duit raya hehehe...no meaning short of one feeling...as you can always do money order or remit the duit raya to us...:)

So I hope, with this not very lengthy but lengthy for me blog, I could win the gift I intended to gift to my uncle as mind you...he is gonna stay god knows how long in Bahrain and also god knows how long we gonna be able to meet him.

How I wish Jeddah just like KL-Jakarta, so the air ticket will not be so damn pricey. Any sponsor for the airticket??

Help Me!!!

2008-08-09T12:00:00.003+08:00

I have been given a task most likely a new job. In 3 months I have to prepare the artist activities including radio interview and most importantly, the press that will be coming to our 2nd press conference.

Oh, god! I kinda have to use my limited resources of finding ways to find a suitable radio station and TV station that can interview this artist and most likely to invite the press to come to our press conference for this event.

The PC for the 1st event, due some miscommunication there only a few media attended. I am hopeless, lifeless and brainless...well leave the brainless part cos I still think I have some braincell left.

I have to keep telling myself I can do this, I can pull this through and I seriously need to get up and get it done!

Ziryab Postpone?

2008-08-06T14:43:00.001+08:00

Hi all....

Those who have been to the first concert, how is it? Despite the delay, I think the show is not disappointing tho' some of the fans attitude is driving our security up to the wall. Let us leave the 1st event.

As for the 2nd even, most of you know it will be today however due to some urgent matters with the artist, we could not make it today.

Yes, Ziryab been postpone to after eid. Don't worry, we will still have the same artist tho' not the same date.

Hope to see you soon!

Middle East My View

2008-07-29T18:25:00.003+08:00

Exhaustion...I am truely really tired. Last night, we finish work almost 2 am and tonight? I have no idea.

This is all because of the event. This is all because of it. Well, hopefully all worth while though we belive it is.

Despite all the headache we gone through, the artist will definitely arrived tomorrow morning. When I said morning, it really is very early morning. Around 6am. You could not believe how far people can be when they know they are celebrity. Eventho' they might be famous around middle east...but well you can't blame there middle east is really is a mass market. Compare to Malaysia, duh!

As a Malaysian, I will say I rather impress with their voice. Yes, the male singer especially they might not have the face, but the voice....well Hussain Al Jasmi especially. He really have that golden voice. The voice you wanted to hear while tuck yourself in at night, the voice that is wow! compare to the rest. Well, this is only my 2 cent thoughts after listening to his song almost 8 hours everyday.

And for the female, yes, most of them Lebanese (well, the one I know and the one we bring in) and yes most of them have whole lot of surgery done and yes, they indeed are too beautiful and oppsss...sexy. Well, yes they are revealingly sexy. But of all that, they have the voice. The manja-manja voice. I bet most guys like them because of this. Who doesn't huh?

But at least this experience have open my eyes to other music culture, if last time I thought middle eastern music is mostly nasyid or same as most Malaysian thought that middle eastern woman suppose to wear hijab at least now, we can open our eyes and look at middle east differently.

For a start, no not everybody wear hijab and no, you are not required to wear the abayya or hijab when you visit middle east. And yes, they sing modern song and not only nasyid and yes, not all middle east is muslim.

I'm actually still in the office and steal a bit of my time writing this blog.

As the terms is stealing, I need to go and to do the unfinished business I have waiting for me....Till then...

Ziryab is nearer

2008-07-28T15:52:00.003+08:00

I have wrote before about this event and well the acceptance is quite encouraging. For you middle eastern artist or music lovers out there, grab your chance. We don't always have middle east artist coming, that's for sure.

If you all still thinking, grab your chance while it last. For sure it will be most memorable event of the year.

And 1 more important thing, the ticket is seriously cheap compare than their concert tickets in middle east. What you waiting for then?

Come, let's celebrate together...

Event I
Date: 1st August 2008
Artist: Rola Saad, Hussein Al Jasmi & Toni Qattan
Venue: Planery Hall KLCC
Ticket: RM150-RM400

Event II
Date: 6th August 2008
Artist: Nawal Al Zoghbi, Abdullah Rwaishid & Mayssam Nahas
Venue: Planery Hall KLCC
Ticket: RM150-RM400

See you there....

Fly Away

2008-07-21T17:19:00.002+08:00

I indeed need a really long break. Yes, I need a break. I need to fly. Fly somewhere, anywhere, anyplace. I'm dead bored...

I'm tired and yes, I get bored doing something seriously really easily. I want to get away. Oh, please...For the past few days I've been browsing, surfing, go through all possible website in the internet. To dream...dream that I could fly to someplace nice and get away.

I really need to get away...I need to breath new air. Seriously, I've been to Indonesia last few years but I do feel I want to go there again this year. Any suggestion? Why? Well, it's indeed a nice place although the traffic jam is a killer during peak hours and the amount of people in the street trying to sell you something is actually quite annoying but I do enjoy my stay there.

Simply because, everything is cheap cheap cheap especially the shopping...Oh, and not only in Jakarta the other best place to shop, shop, shop is also in Bandung. It is nice, nice, nice. Most likely, Jakarta is my place again this year...well most likely.

Gosh, I do hope I can fly there now...be away from the hectic things in my life...Please let me get away...please, please, please...

Ziryab 2008 Definitely...

2008-07-09T10:36:00.009+08:00

Remember I did write about this event in my last blog? Remember I did not told you guys who are the artist coming? Remember? Remember?

Do you guys still look forward to this event? I know I do...well the date is fix now. 1st August and 6th August in KL Convention Centre (same venue like last year) but the different is we don't have dinner this year only concert.

OK...OK... This time I'll tell all of you who is the artist...Wait...Wait...The artist are

Nawal Al-Zoghbi

Hussein Al-Jasmy

Rola

Toni Qattan

Mayssam Nahas

Abdullah Al Rowaished

Penang

2008-07-03T00:23:00.002+08:00

Dear fwens....

I know..I know..it's more than a month (maybe two?) but I can't help the lazy disease that attacking my body now.

Today, I gather all the strength to save this picture.

Here goes the link...http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b143/ezany_malek/penang%2008/

Sepi...

2008-06-30T19:33:00.005+08:00

Sepi, I have not get a chance to watch this Malay movie which I heard the best for this year. Well, I don't know. I have to see it for myself to believe it.

Talking about sepi, which is loneliness in Malay have a same quite the same meaning with everybody. Sometimes, people like to keep themselves away from other just because they comfortable in being a loner.

I'm a loner. I like to be lonely. Loneliness is me. I feel at ease when I am alone.

No, it is not because I'm better than anyone but it is just simply that I am no longer can accept all the hypocrite, self centred people in this world. It annoys me and sometime I feel like shutting myself out of this world. I feel like building my own world. Away, far away from anybody.

But, I am not god thus I force myself to accept. To accept that there is nothing we could do to change human behaviour. You just have to accept it and live with it. That's it.

That is why, I choose to keep myself to be sepi...

I fell in love!

2008-06-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

While doing what I do best, browsing and wasting my time...hehehe! I came accross this song and I fell in love with this song.

I know, I know, you will tell me it is an old song but hell, since when love know it is new or old? I try to find this song high and low. See, how rajin am I today?

As today I'm a bit rajin...I wanted to share this song with all of you (if anyone ever read my blog) Here goes,

Craig David - Don't Love You No More

craig_david-dont_love_you_no_more__im_sorry

Frankie J- Don't Wanna Try

2008-06-27T16:13:00.004+08:00

Oh, Frankie J...please don't hate me. I force to do it.... Please forgive me! It's all because of Jacq! Wawawa!!!

Jacq, please appreciate my sweat and tears of finding this song for you...:) hmmm...you can show your appreciation by buying me Avril tickets???? Can? Can? Can? *Manja-manja smile* :)))

Mp3 file - Frankie J

Shayne Ward-Breathless

2008-06-23T12:37:00.004+08:00

It does not mean that I support piracy. I force to do this just because Jacq need this song...I mean really desperate for this song. Being the nice, kind and loving sister I always been. I have downloaded this song for her.

Jacq, what you waiting for...grab it and satisfy your thirst! hehe!

http://www.savefile.com/files/1624840

Ziryab 2008?

2008-06-21T10:36:00.004+08:00

Hi all...

Well, well, well...I admit, I have been lazy, in fact too lazy that I don't write for quite some time. And I start to miss blogging, though not that much hehehe!

Well, maybe most of you thought what is Ziryab. It is the event organised by the sister company I'm working now. I'm actually in shipping company whilst there is one more company doing 100% event and entertainment. Strange isn't it?

Last year was a blast! We have flown popular and vast singers from middle east and 3 concert was held in KL convention centre. Nuff said, if you all need additional info, you can always browse thru our website

http://www.ziryabfest.com/

This year? Of course it will be as vast as last year. Nope, it will be more than that! It will be a bomb! Want to see which artist will be coming to KL? Sorry, tho I know but it will be a surprise! Can't tell...:)

Event only a month away...very very near...very very very very near. Can't wait! Hehehe!

For all of you who in love with middle eastern artist, don't forget to check this event out. I guarantee you...you will not regret!

Can't wait to have fun! Fun! Fun!

P/S: Of course...we also will be having 5 star malaysian artist...muah!

Lies...

2008-06-03T14:18:00.003+08:00

Lies? Does it worth it? Is it worth risking your job, life for a miserable lies? Who is in the right state of mind would do that?

I have encountered few situation where people have to lie cause of no reason. None! And in return, they start losing everything in life. One after another. Yes, truth is always painful but it is the truth! And for saying the truth, you will earn people's respect. Well, maybe before that some of them will start whatever unpleasant things as a human being. But it is the consequences have to be taken. For me, I believe in saying the truth. If need be, I'll lie but maybe white lies...usually it is always end up with the truth.

Whatever they call it, an excuse, escape a lie is still a lie. It is just a plain way to cover mistakes. Be a man about it and face the truth, I'm sure there will be a better way that lead to a better life.
But, will there be? Will there be a day that human stop lies? It is human nature, we will lies. Mind you, this is not about small lies that will just flies. This is a big, huge, bombastic lies. Believe me, I heard and see how big and huge lies people can do. It is so humungous until there is no way covering it up.

I'm stunned, in awe. I need to breath fresh air. Why? Why? How come? All the question, all the curiosity, everything. I need to know why? But how I know, it is not lies I will get. How? So, I accept and let it be. Maybe it run in his dead red blood, maybe it is in his soul, in his vein and most of all in his genes.

So much so, I wish him all the best, best of the best in his poor sad life. Hope he learn something. A lesson. A precious one. Hope he open his eyes and pray for forgiveness. I do hope time on his side and he still have the chance to do that.

Believe me, I'm not lying....

Truly, madly, deeply

2008-06-03T09:10:00.004+08:00

I am officially in love. I am truly, madly, deeply in love. It is so adorable and wayyy irresistable. I have to have him. I know i have to have him...no I MUST have him. I must, I have, I have, I have!!!

But how? How if the others get jealous? How if they fight?

Aren't they adorable? They are! OMG, if I could have them....abah puhleasee!!!

For more cute and adorable angels...visit http://www.isleypersians.com

Thanks to its founder neth! Cheers to all adorable and very irrisistable angels you have, Neth!

Penang...

2008-05-29T16:33:00.002+08:00

We have extra cuti on Wesak day. Cannot go back to Malacca. My mom busy with her 'family' meeting. Tah apa yang sibuk sangat nak dimeetingkan...we make a decision....

Penang, here we come!!!!!

Nice place, well tho' not that very very very very exciting but the idea of holidaying with friends. We make it memorably exciting journey, lostness and tiredness. Everything in one...it makes it enjoyable.

Picture...still in the camera. I'll definitely post it once I have the time.

Now, just read my above craps and thots!

Do I ?

2008-05-28T19:34:00.004+08:00

First, I have to admit. I am not a good writer. Yes, I am totally not! oh, how I wish I could just write something. Something so simple but meaningful, interesting and just me. I don't know. Am I pushing myself too hard? Or it is just me? Do I need to have Einstein brain just to write? To jot down a piece of thought here and there? I believe, I just need to use a little bit more of creativity. But can I find it in me? Do I have it?

Sometimes, I want to write and I even logged in the blog page but suddenly everything gone. It's just gone. I can't even write my own essay. I can't elaborate points, I can just stick to one point and that's it. Oh, help me god! I even failed my thesis because of this! My lecturers have written the same thing on all the essay I've done. No, it is not only one lecturer...it is three!!! Yess, three!

I want to crack open my brain and peek inside. See if I am able to repair anything, but well I am a human being...Idiot!

But, the best part is...I do not lost my hope. It's still there, high on the pedestal. I know someday, somehow, I will do it! I know I can.

Can't you just admire my determination?

But, do i ...will i still have the same spirit when the moment came?

Just Wait...

2008-05-26T17:08:00.002+08:00

Feel like blogging but maybe a bit late....Just too tired to type! Hell, wait a bit late...I'll post something up. Promise...

Just that

2008-05-05T16:46:00.002+08:00

Last week been a very tiring week for our office. We have moved office not far just one more level up. Previously it is 1 unit and now becomes 2 units including our sister comany who will be doing production and entertainment. Nothing that I can elaborate. Nothing to share now.

Moving, everybody needs to make a move in life. We move when everything get static or doesn't even move. We moved when we are bored. We moved forward, backward and everyway we can. We move to be better and we moved because we must.

I believe when we move something in life it is for the better. I believe we moved because we want to get better and be better.I have moved, a lot of time infact. I know damn well, my life is better now because the move I made in previous days.

I have enjoyed from the morning till dawn, dawn till dusk. I have done that. I have live a life with nothing to do. Just sit at home, go out, have fun, and same thing again and again for three years. I have wasted my father's hard earned money a lot of times and I never regret.

But it's all in the past, I have moved since then. I am not proud of the life i had before but at least i know, when I'm old, I will not think "Shit, i shud've done that". Yes, I have wasted a little bit of my life but I am satisfied for I can now be me. What I am today.

At least I know now, it is time for me to sit at home, watching TV, laugh at my family stupid jokes, cries when there are need to, be there whenever it is good and bad times. I am not anti social but I choose to be one. I have gone through a lot of pain and bad times till i feel like I don't need any friend now and I don't have to trust my friends. All i need is my family. They will surely be there when I need then the most, vice versa.

Yes, I know I've been mean but no. I don't believe such things as loyal friends. No matter how close people be, there will always be things that they will not tell you, things that they kept as a secret and when you know, it will hurt you. Most of the time from someone else.

There are alot of hypocrites in this world. I know now how careful people be they will somehow step on something they trying to avoid.

For that, I have to be extra careful living in the world full of disguise, hate and greed.

It's just that...

Moving on

2008-04-28T14:51:00.002+08:00

No, it has nothing to do with life. We are moving upstairs to 10th floor today. My office not my house...update later. Ciao!

Work wok!

2008-04-24T17:51:00.002+08:00

I'm in the office, busy as a bee and still have time to write this? No, I lied. Yes, I am suppose to be busy working my ass off. Settling this shipment issue. Didn't I tell you I work in shipping industry?

Yes, I do. In fact my dad, my 2 brothers also working in the same industry. It's stressful but interesting yes, it's interesting stressful kinda way. I work 5 1/2 days every week without off day. The off day I had only on Sunday. And yes, I stayed back in the office sometimes up to 2am. But not always.

And no, I am not workaholic. I just have to do what I'm suppose to do. This is a lesson to all the youngsters, it is actually not easy to get money. You have to work your ass off to have something to eat. My, my...I'm that old, I'm actually lecturing to youngsters?

Ok, cut the crap short... I just stop by to say hi to my blog but I end up writing few paragraphs. So I'll stop here cause I really need to get back to work.

Until then, I'll be back for more! :)

Blog Hopping...The Red DiVa?

2008-04-23T21:42:00.007+08:00

Despite all the workload, I still try to steal sometime to do one thing I sumtime love doing...blog hopping. It's nice to read about someone...some other person that you didn't know. That is not your friends or your family but someone out there. Who live their lives in the same world but maybe differently. Who have the same thought or different things to say.

It's fun to at least know about somebody and someone at least once in a while for a change. I am maze on how people can make money using their blog. It's the best way to earn a living while doing something you love. You just have to write about yourself, your life, your thought, your hope and voila! somebody really paid you for that. I might not be the one...I can't write well maybe craps and I am lazy to think about what to write, even I'm not lazy to think but i will be lazy to type...duh!

Despite all the popularity and the publicity (blame me cos not being up to date!) I came accross to this one blog. Which by the way, is a hit among all the bloggers and even have its own publicity with the media.

Written by a gorgeous mom with 2 kids who love no...crayzeee about the colour RED. The blog is red, not only that the house, the clothes and mostly everything bout her is red. I applaud her, for writing about something she love, writing about whatever she thinks worth to write and writing bout something that cross her mind. I applaud her for that. There might be some people who could not understand her writing. Not because she wirte bombastic words but because the language she use are mostly malay words. I applaud her for that too, for using the mother tongue and proud of that. One thing bout this hot momma, keep on writing, keep on doing whatever you are doing. It surely give you a lot!

People, come and cherish her blogs...(If you never come accross before)

http://redmummy.com/

I know you will love it, just like me! :)

Past Happenings!

2008-04-21T21:23:00.002+08:00

I know...I know...I'm supposed to post myt dad's B'day pics here. Don't blame me! Time just jealous of me! I don't even have time to update my pitiful blog...:(

Ok...here goes! We celebrate daddy b'day in Nelayan Seafood Restaurant. Nice and well, I like it. It's not a posh place or the greatest place in KL but it's ok..Food was ok and price was reasonable.

Thanks to all who make this surprise a blast! I am not a very patience person. I try to upload the pic but it seems extrociously slow so please direct yourself to this link. You can find all the glory here.

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b143/ezany_malek

Oh...B.O.O.red...

2008-04-08T16:34:00.004+08:00

I am feeling restless, I hate me, my job and I feel I am depressed but I am not sure. Is it depressed or bored to death.

Everyday I have the same life routine, every single day ...well except for weekend, at least!. I am bored, really! I can puke but I may not realise because I am too bored. Or maybe the world is going upside down and I am still not realise cause I am too bored. Really bored with my every weekdays routine.

I wakes up at 6.45, shower and get dress. Arrive office at 8.00, bfast and start working at 9-6 with the same ol boring stuff, write e-mail, get shout, shout at people, on the phone, not on the phone, write e-mail again, meeting, meeting, meeting, get shout again...bla bla bla....bluekkkk!!

Please someone, hear my pain and cries...please give me non-boring well paid job so I can have my life back...I am totally bored, I could kill a doll and I thought it's bleeding...

*yawning*

You know what I don't deserve this...my life was not this shitty boring everyday same ol' boring day...I have a very cheery merry life...what happened???? I decided to put it behind and i forgot to took it back...It makes me now a misreable depressed boring shitty head woman..

*yawning*

too bored to type about this boring topic

chiao!

Hi?!?!

2008-03-29T18:29:00.002+08:00

I know, I know, I know...There, I done it again...I know I have this blog and I know the promise to keep the blog updated and all but I failed...I get caught in the big bloating spiderweb and I can't get out. I'm stucked!

I wish one day not just 24 hours, I wish it will be more...

22/3/08...Yes, it's daddy's birdday...daddy's hatching day. 2 of my siblings and of course me...planned something and I think we planned it beautifully as the b'day boy is really surprise. I'm happy and excited...Most of the family is there including my grandma..Thanks wan for making it this far, love you to bits!

I suppose to upload the pic but eventually it is still in the camera so maybe next blog...WEll, for my day...I know he will never read this but in case he suddenly crossover this blogs or accidentally lead to this blogs...

I wish him all the best and all the success in everything he do and I thanked him for all the time he was there for us, all the time he save us and all the time he cared. I wish him luck and best of the best the world could bring. Most of all, I wish he may always be under god blessing and he showers with god's love. On behalf of the family, he knows that we always and forever love him.

New Government??

2008-03-11T13:57:00.003+08:00

I know, i know...it's been a loooong while. As I wrote in my 1st blog, I am lazy, lazy, lazy so lazy I actually did forgot about the existence of this blog.

As world know, we just finish our 12th election on the 8th of March 2008 and personally, it was devastating to see the fall of BN legacy in this nation. As much as I love BN, as much as me being the avid supporter, I actually agree that we need second voice, other opinion in the parliament or to rule a democratic nation. I think it is the right time to wake people up, as we have been sleeping and being complacent for too long. This is the time to buck up and start over.

I am not the obsessed supporter but I do love my country and I am totally stand for what's right for this country.

Enough of me being patriotic, just to let everyone in this whole wide world knows that although we have been hit with election Tsunami or opposition have 'landslide' won the 5 baby states and the share market drops tremendously yesterday, we are still doing great. Peaceful and harmony like we always do...same as before election. We are still the same multi racial Malaysian despite our diffrences in our parties.

So, please do not believe all the speculation or romours, we are still the same ol' Malaysian with new government...:(

Gumbira....

2008-02-29T23:36:00.020+08:00

I think it's quite sometime I don't bother about the existence of my blog. This week full of love, joy, tiredness, busyness and sometimes horrifying scenes of shouting and frustration. All of this, have stole my time. My time to day dreaming and sometimes even dream, ZZZzzzZZZ...

Everything aside, let me share what happen on Thursday. Yes, Thursday was my birthday, the most anticipated day, the getting old boring alone day. Yes, I am a year older on last Thursday. Thanks to all my dear friends and families who wishes me.

I have been longing to buy M by Mariah perfume since the perfume first lauch but I haven't got the time to go perfume hunting. So I just keep my dream in far far away land. Tuck it nicely in my pillow. Just let it be a dream...nice huh!

Lucky enough I have a very understanding cum outstanding cum extravaganza sister who always remember bits and pieces about me...and she actually bought me the perfume...yes the perfume!!! The M by Mariah perfume...the dream, blow me away perfume i have been longing nite and day...I luv you!!!! (Yes, to my sister, my boss, my shouting partner, my friend and my taiwanese colleague)

And now...I'm the proudest owner of M by Mariah....awesome...just awesome!

Picture below taken when we were having our dinner at The Apartment at The Curve. There's no word could describe how thankful I am to found someone like you guy/gals. You are the light that lit up my way, like the walking stick for a blind man. Thanks you all, thanks a million for spending your precious time with me. I am proud to have a friend like you.

Special thanks to Jacq, thanks for being my shoulder to lean on, when I needed the most, thanks for always remember, thanks for always being at the right place at the right time, thanks for your patience to put up with me and my wind-head, thanks for being stubborn, thanks for the energy, enthusiasm and spirit you always show whenever wherever, thanks for sharing and caring and thanks for the concern when nobody cares. And thank you especially for the guidance and believe you have in me and everybody. You are a star...special star for us...you are IRREPLACEABLE!

2008-02-29T14:39:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I'll post later...need some rest :p

Weehooo!!!

2008-02-26T17:36:00.005+08:00

Whatever I'm writing now, it has nothing to do with the title of this blogs. I ran out of idea. I have not see, look, crossover, pass over or even read my blogs (like there is something to read except for my own writing) I think I need a new set of brain...I mean the idea brain...which can always give me great idea to write things. Maybe new set of half of my brain....no maybe only quarter. I love my brain now but sometimes I need the brain to work more for me. Gosh, I'm start talking crap...which is not good! Not very good...

Have you ever felt, you don't have enough time? My day last week was a total wreck. I seems do not have enough time for all my work and worst of all, I don't feel like doing any job. Assignments, class, license, job and TV,TV,TV!huh... I really need to plan my times, and it's tough when you have a rule breaker like me!

For heaven sake, I need a hot shower!!!

Life motivation...

2008-02-19T21:21:00.004+08:00

I am not sure whether there is any human being alive reading my blog. Well, this is wide world...anybody is welcome. Just anybody and everybody. The world is huge and i believe there is enough space for everybody...

Today, I have sat in a talk, a discussion...an interesting one, an eye opener. They ask me a simple question...what do i want in life? I sat there and think...what actually do i want in life? It is neither about wealth, nor it is about money but the achievement. I want to be able to achieve something. Not because i want fame nor i want everyone to know my name but i want to achieve something for my life.

It makes me think, one thing...I don't want to grow old and regret for not having the chance to do something i should be doing. I want to close my eyes and smile proudly that i have done and achieve something in life.

Yes, people will have the same thought, same mindset...they want to achieve something in life and make their life worth living but the important thing is how you want to achieve it? what is your goal? I never have any goal in my life, NEVER! cos' i know i can't fulfill my goal and i am terrified to see that i have done nothing to achieve it. But when somebody said, i must have goal in my life to reach certain position...than i realise...yes, i do need one!

I am actually proud of myself, looking back there were always something we done we were not proud of but at least i am where i am now and i must say i am proud of me...but i want more, i want to be able to achieve something, some position in life that i can enjoy my life to the fullest, no worries.

People keep telling me how terrible life treat them, how mean people was, how sick people's mindset and best of all how strong that everything makes them now. Yes, i may have easy life...there is hurdle once in a while but i nothing that i can't overcome and how fortunate i am to have people open up to me and told me their life story for me to learn and motivate myself, my life. I am thankful to have them as my guidance, mentor and motivator to motivate and teach me about life from their own life experience.

For them and for myself, I will make sure i make them proud and make myself proud for this year will be a better year for me, hopefully.

For all this...I am blessed!

Love?

2008-02-15T20:52:00.005+08:00

I don't have much to say bout these four letter words. Yes, these words might mean a lot to some but might not mean anything to somebody. For me? I love being love and i am easily fall in love. I'm a pisces, remember? I am a lovely creature, heh!

I know love, I love my family,god and all the animals but i am not writing about love generally. There is one...only one! There is only one love I can't seems to find until now. Love for the opposite sex, other gender, different species. Yes, I can't seems to find any man to love. Or maybe they refuse to find me.

Yes, I might not have the face that every man miss, or the body that every man dreamt of but I believe every human being in this planet earth have their own special place. God have plan for each one of us. Everyone wants something beautiful that they can adore, they can dream while sleeping at night but little that we know the physical beauty can fade with time but the inner beauty will last...forever....

For that, I am not bothered. As i know it is impossible to change the way of people think and it is hard to change people perception. Therefore, i am not bothered at all. Let them think what they want and let them misjudge me all they can. I am what i am and as long as i am happy...why bother?

I am not bother now. I don't care if i end up as an old spinster or i would not find man of my life until the end of time. I don't care. What matters most, my parents are well taken care of. My youngest sister have the best education. That is all important. That is what that matters. Other selfish people who always think they are the world? I am living without them and i know i am still be able to live without them. For now, let me pour my love to my family, my pets and god...That is love....eternal greatest love.

For all this, i am not bothered...

^-^ Didn't we almost have it all...

2008-02-14T18:10:00.001+08:00

I am doom! I really am... I have my assignment waiting to be submitted by end of next week and guess what?? I have no time to do even a single line. How? How? How I'm getting this busy? I'm not suppose to be busy. I'm suppose to have time of my life. Isn't February a special month...my month, me,me,me mia!

But, today i am not myself i am dead tired because of the travelling yesterday. Crazy, loco, insane! I told you Jacq, we might as well sleep there. But you know what, i am actually really glad we do not sleep there...and yes, whatever you say is true! I agree...120% But the ache, the cramp oh well, i have not travel that far for years so don't blame me if i have and old bones! I do! I am not old, but I do have old bones!

I love February, February is a love month, February is a special month, February is a spectacular, extravaganza and awesome month because NO! it's not because of Valentine's day...(who give a damn? I don't care about Valentine:p) it is because MUA, ME, MIA birthday. Hehehe!!! Yes, i will be a year wiser...and older of course. Older? Yes but wiser I truly hope so.

There are a lot of things happening in life for the past one year makes me thinks a lot and also change a lot. I am still trying and learning to change. Change towards positive. Have a positive view in any aspect and thinks wisely before act or speak. I think I do...well if I don't then I'm sorry. sometime how hard we try to change, we always go back and do the things that we always do. This year, I want to act, think and speak differently. I want to be a change person but not a different person as i love being me. I am happy as i am. I am me. I am Ezany.

I am Ezany...yes! I have great family. You will believe me one day if you meet my family. If i were to be reborn, i will ask for the same family. My family, my dad, my mom, my sisters and my brothers are the greatest human being and the greatest members that makes my family beautiful. Believe me....Yes, I think when you have such great family you almost have it all...

Btw, enough talking one thing for sure, yes we do almost have it all but we will be complete when...

Abah, again I'm making my pitiful face....

'Can I have Ipod Video for my birthday, puhleasssseeeeee'

I want, I want, I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give life's a break...

2008-02-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. Tired. For me, our lives in this small planet call earth are short. We shoud enjoy and spend the life we have experiencing everything the world have to offer. I know there are a few dare to do anything, everything....

Me? I'm not a very brave person. I can try and will try but not to the extreme. Well, at least I've been into roller coaster ride. (that is scary, nerve wrecking ride for me) It is not the way you spend your life, it is the person you spend it with, that it all that matters. I can just sit at home doing nothing if i can be with my family all day. For me, it is time well spent and it is the moment i cherish. Being with the persons i love most, my blood and flesh. It all that matters...that's it. But, seems it is too much to ask these days. No, no...we love each other very well. Well enough but it is the commitment, the job and our own life schedule we have makes it impossible.

My friends tell me, i'm overprotective. Well, i admit...i am. But there is times i can be easy and i can give and take and accept person as what they are. My beloved brother (whom I love very dearly) got engage last month. I really want to be apart of everything. Being the always 'sibuk' kakak. But what really disappoint me and make me refrain myself to even ask bout the engagement is the girl he been with. The way she clinging on my brother neck, control his every step and the best part the way she be have with my parents through SMS. How dare she used vulgar words to my dad? How dare she disturb all my siblings including me? How dare she call herself a malay woman if she could not respect elderly? How dare she expect us to respect her? I am disappointed. Truly disappointed.

I can't lie and tell myself everything will be ok. I am crushed to see my brother throwing his life for the one who does not deserve. Yes, it is not my life for me to poke my head in...but tell me please..it is not right for me to do what i am doing now? Ignoring the fiancee. Yucks! I can't even say it outloud. If someone, anyone can see how worthless the girl is then i know you will understand when i say my brother deserve someone better. Much...much better.

Yes, it is not good to hate people so much but it is what you have to do when the people you hate is someone who does not worth to be loved. I pray..pray to god that 1 day he knows what i'm (not me alone mind you...99.9% of family members does not agree. 0.1% have to force themselves to agree) trying to do and how much love i have for him.

For the girl, if she ever read this (if she can read English which i doubt she can) open your eyes and see... we are not welcoming you. ( I know it harsh and yes, i want to be harsh) . You are never welcome before or even after. Throw away your mask as it's getting ugly. And don't bother changing your worn mask as your colour is as ugly as your mask.

Shit....now i feel shit....hurm!

Me? Blogging?

2008-02-11T13:58:00.000+08:00

Kill me....I should not allowed to blog nor should i been allowed to write. I am L.A.Z.Y if there are other suitable word that can best describe the current state i am in now, right now or....let me think.....is it always?

Hrmmm....is it my fault? For me to be in this situation..is actually is...Nobody can push me to get up and run if i don't want to move my legs. So this laziness, is indeed coming from me, poor me, the lazy poor me! From today, i will make a promise (btw, i can't never keep promise i made to myself. NEVER!. But i have to learn somehow, aiite!) to become a good blogger. Yucks! I can be good, yes, i can be good...i am good at writing. I have it somewhere so deep, so far in a small hollow place in me.

I don't understand, why do they create blogs? For us to write our heart out? For us to share our own feelings with strangers in this world wide web? For the people to read and have their own tiniest opinion bout somebody they do not know? No, I love blogs (I love to read it actually more than writing) I love to read bout people lifes, mind you...I am not busybody to poke about someone's life. I have rather interesting life myself (is it???). But for whatever reason they may have, we should be thankful to the blog creator to create such a place for us to share our life, thoughts and opinion.

Sometimes i think...What a small world